she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
