tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
