...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you win again, gameday.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
