She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
