Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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