OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Houston, we have a squirter
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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