I wish I could punch you in the face.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
