I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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