a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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