yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
