I wanna bring you to show and tell
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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