I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
