And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
