I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
