I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
