The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
