My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
