how can u be prego again
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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