his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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