forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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