Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
