I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
