This girl is more easily done than said...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize