yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
