Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
