So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
