Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
