At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize