In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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