I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
