Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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