In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
