office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize