Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
