Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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