Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize