Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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