I'm going to rape someone's good day.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
