I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
