I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
