$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
