So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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