can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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