Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
