god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I could make wine with my vomit
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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