left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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