3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
