i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
