It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i think my mom watched the whole time
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
