i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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