I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
third nipple confirmed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I could fuck to npr.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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