he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
