is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
