I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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