mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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