I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
