so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
