I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
