are you still at the devil's house?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Who died my cat blue again?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize